I am currently TAing Philosophy 101. Each week we have a quiz to make sure the students keep up with the reading. Last week someone turned in this gem, and I thought I would share (names have been erased to protect the innocent):

My comments (originally in red ink) are at the bottom. Note: McKinley is [...]

Socrates: “I know nothing”. Thats great, so-crates, tell us something we dont know.
Plato: Poofta. Thanks for fucking up the world for 2000 years, Plato old boy.
Aristotle: The most thorough, detailed, comprehensive philosophy of anyone to date. A rich resource that people are still tapping to this day (Putnam, Burge, etc). Boring as HELL.
Plotinus: Poofta
Augustine: So [...]

Two bits:
1) Found the following quote today.
“What we commonly call “nihilism”–and are tempted to date historically, decry politically, and ascribe to thinkers who allegedly dared to think “dangerous thoughts”–is actually a danger inherent in the thinking activity itself. There are no dangerous thoughts; thinking itself is dangerous, but nihilism is not its product. Nihilism is [...]